


Never Meant to Hurt You

by Darkchrisbarrieblood



Category: Chris Barrie - Fandom, Hattie Hayridge - Fandom, Red Dwarf RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, F/M, Relationships that never happened
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-13
Updated: 2016-11-22
Packaged: 2018-08-30 18:56:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8545234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkchrisbarrieblood/pseuds/Darkchrisbarrieblood
Summary: Chris feels he hurt Hattie at London Comiccon and apologises to her. The days after he remembers about how they became friends and how much he feels hes hurt her in the past. Hattie says its fine and comforts him, but he doesn’t believe her





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my own interpretation of how I feel chris would react to her at the event. I saw that he said something to her at the end, so I got inspiration.

He regretted what he said about her. Sure, he could have spent 7 hours with her and talking with her; he did so, but felt he had to say it. Her reaction was only playful, but felt like he had hurt her. That question the person asked about sending him a strange present had thrown him off. He regretted it so much, why couldn’t he go back in time like he’d seen the games Alfie play; go back and not say anything.  With his comments about Holly, he almost gave her away, never meaning to. Man what was wrong with him? Maybe he was still not over his op, although it didn’t hurt anymore.

He apologised to her, and she’d accepted it was just a joke, but he couldn’t help feeling like he’d hurt her. As he walked back over to his table, he watched her. She still seemed happy, but he continued to feel useless. ‘ _God why did I have to be so stupid?!’_  
Fans came over still and had photos. ‘ _Why does anyone want me? I just hurt people.’_ He smiled at people and in photos, when right now he just wanted something sharp.

Their third interview of the day was about to happen. Chris and Hat waited together for Danny to show up, he felt like he should apologise to her again, but he couldn’t with another person there. He decided that, to show he was sorry, he wouldn’t sit with her. If Dan asked, then he’d simply say he needed to sit there for whatever reason.

After the interviews, Hattie came over. She seemed to have noticed how he was acting.  
“Hey, Chrissy.” She said to him, running over at he put his stuff away.  
“What?”  
“I feel something is wrong.”  
He paused, “No, nothing, im just tired.”  
“Sure?”  
“Yes.”  
“Oh right. Well, if you need to call you know you can. Alright?”  
“Yes.”

“Well, later.” She smiled, leaving him. She was going back with Dan as he lived near where her new male friend lived. He was happy, but also felt jealous; he wouldn’t be able to talk to her like he used to.  
He sighed and left the hall. The Steward acknowledged him leaving and walked out of the hall. Danny was in the car park, getting into his car, vaping as he waited for Hattie.  
Chris hoped he wouldn’t notice him; he hadn’t approved of his behaviour earlier.  
“Hey Chrissy.” Dan said, waving; vapour coming out his mouth as he spoke,  
“Hi. What you waiting here for?”  
“Hattie. Shes just getting something. “  
“Oh.”  
“Don’t worry, I will look after her for you.”  
Chris hadn’t liked the comment, but took it, “Alright, please do.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time in Series 4 when they meet Hattie the second time.

“So, we’re getting a female Holly this time?” Craig asked Doug, leaning back on his chair, cigarette in hand.   
“Yes we are as Norman’s decided he doesn’t want to be here anymore.  She has actually been here before so please, treat her well.” Doug had said,   
“Oh, is it that Hattie girl that was here last time?” Danny said,   
“Yes. She auditioned and she was good.”  
“Aww I liked her.” Robert said, turning to the others,    
“Yeah, she was alright.” Craig said, smoking,  
“Yeah, she was a little slow though I thought.” Danny said, “Still she’s a girl. They’re all like it I guess.”  
Chris was just observing their comments. His thoughts on her were entirely different. He found her amusing and sweet. He was amazed at himself finding a woman nice and kind, especially after breaking up with one a few weeks ago. After their conversation with Doug, the other three went out to have a drink. Chris had refused, wanting to drink alone tonight; giving himself more pain tonight. Craig would find him on the floor as usual, bleeding probably, sleeping and drunk.

As he walked into the studio to wait for the other three, he noticed Hattie by the door. He was sitting at the table, looking to see if she was meeting anyone. Realising she wasn’t, he went over to her.   
“Hello.” He said to her, hoping she wouldn’t ignore him  
“Hi there. You’re Chris, right?”  
“Yes. I am.” He said, smiling at the fact she remembered his name from last time.   
“Nice to see you again.”  
“Yes you too.” Chris was smiling too much, she seemed to care a little.  
“So erm, where are the others?”   
“Oh they’re erm, going for a drink , so,” Chris said, expecting her to go with them. _They_ were the better people; everyone liked them.   
“Oh right. What are you doing here on your own then?”  
“Erm, well, I don’t want to go, that’s all.”  
“Oh. The queit one?” Hattie asked, meaning it affectionately,  
Chris blushed, not wanting to, she was getting closer to him. He didn’t like it,  
“Well I just, don’t want to drink. Nothing to do with me being quiet.”  
“I know. I mean I noticed you were were a little more reserved than the others.”she said, trying to smile to make him feel better.   
“Yes I guess I am.” Chris replied, watching the others as they returned. They seemed merry as always and were laughing.   
Chri sighed and left, ‘ _She’ll want them now.’_  
“Hey Chris, dont go.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because you’re needed here.” Hattie smiled,    
Chris smiled back. Some reason, he felt different towards her. She didnt exclude him like the others, i guess that was because she didnt know him properly yet but, he guessed that it wouldnt hurt to be liked, even for a little while.  
“Ooh Chrissy n the girl are getting closer hehe.” Craig said, laughing and smoking.  
Chris ignored it and simply stayed silent. He stayed close to Hattie; he felt an attachment right now. He hoped the others wouldn’t mock him about it.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Around series 6 time. Hattie is worried about Chris after he's been acting strangely whilst recording. Chris eventually opens up to her about what's happened

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Will review this chapter later

Hattie had decided, after contemplating for around an hour, to go and talk to Chris. He'd been acting very strangely around the others and isolating himself, which worried her. She could tell from how he'd said his lines that something wasn't right. As Hattie walked past Craig, Robert and Danny, all standing in a group, Craig perked up.   
"Ooh, Hat's going to see her boyfriend again." he commented too loudly, Danny laughing with him.   
' _Well at least I look after him'_ Hatie wanted to say, but didn't.  
As she got closer to him, it was obvious he wasnt right.  
She sat beside him at the table and watched him. He was breathing rather  heavy, glancing at Hattie briefly before groaning quietly to himself.   
"What's wrong?" she asked, putting an arm around him,  
"Them..." he breathed, trying to control his breathing.   
"What have they done?" she could hear Craig and Dan laughing and joking, knowing Chris was referring to them. Chris heard it too and groaned,  
"They...they did nothing." Chris breathed, clenching his hands tightly,  
"Then what's wrong?" She asked, she could sense it was getting worse, whatever was wrong with him. He looked pale and tired; not someone who should be acting.  
"I...I need air." Chris said, trying to get up. Hattie helped him up and watched the three boys; Doug had now joined them for whatever reason.   
"Let's take you outside. You seem to be overheating." Hattie lead him out the exit, holding his arm to help him walk.   
As they got outside, the cool air covered them like a blanket. For once, there was no lingering of cigarettes as Craig and Robert weren't there.  
Chris let go of Hattie and leaned against the brick studio wall. He inhaled deeply, watching his hands as they shook more.   
"You okay?" Hattie asked him,   
Chris nodded,  
"Tell me what they said." She said, hoping he'd tell her.  
"Well, they said I'm useless, they cant be bothered to look after me. They said  I'm a waste of space and that I should just go."  
"What?"   
"Yes." he sighed, hyperventilation increasing as he thought about it, "No one really likes me here."  
"I do."  
"And thats why they think I'm ' _going for you'_ "he groaned, contractions worsening   
"Oh."  
"I mean, I'm not going for you. My last girlfriend just left me, you think I'd want anyone right now?" he then realised what he'd implied, "Not that I don't want to talk to you, just...not that."  
"I understand." she smiled, noticing his contractions were worsening and hurting him, "You need someone?"  
He shook his head, "I hope not."  
"Okay, well, tell me if you do."  
Chris sighed and inhaled deeply, trying to control his nerves.  
"There's, erm, another reason why they're pissed with me."  
"Why?" Hattie asked, watching as Chris pulled up his sleeve. A cut near his wrist was there, done with a blade but not deep enough to need stitches.  It hadnt been treated,she knew that much,  
"That's why."  
"Oh God."  
"I tried to hard but.."  
"Nonono, not you. You can't leave." Hattie begged,   
"Why not?" he teared up, breathing sharper,  
" Because, because of your fans? What about that girl you met? What about...me?"  
"I...I dont matter." He sighed, wanting to leave badly. The others didn't care anymore. His girlfriend took advantage, what's the point anymore?  
"You do. That girl you met, what's her name?"  
"Aleksandra."  
"Right, She'd miss you."  
"Yes but.."  
"Stay for her at  least. What about your fans? I know they care about you."  
"Hmm."  
"Please stay a while longer.  Please." she said, virtually crying,  
"Okay, okay I will." he said, shaking a little still,  
She held his hands, "Come on. Lets calm you down."  
"I am already." Chris smiled, not hyperventialting anymore.   
After half an hour, he had calmed down almost completely, contraction hardly existant.  
"There you are."  
"Thanks."  
"For what?"  
"Everything."  
"Well its okay."  
He sighed deeply, "I'm sorry if I hurt you. I never meant to."  
"Its okay, I understand."  
"Sure?"  
"Yes, now lets go and join the others." 


End file.
